*As seen on the Pucker Mob.
Badass: They’re uncompromising. They do hard things and come out stronger. No matter what age they are, they go big or get the fuck home.
Anyone can be a badass. We don’t need parents that are in motorcycle gangs and we don’t need tattoos all across our backs. No badass looks the same, because we are individualists. I wonder where that leather jacket, goth makeup uniform came into play. We don’t do that conformist coño. We are intimidating because we do what we want when we want and still come out on top. You can do it too.
Maybe you’re a beginner and you’re tired of losing the game. Or maybe you’ve been that independent badass before but lost your way. Whatever your excuses are, forget ‘em. Get out those weights and stick them on your barbells ladies, because we’re stretching those bitch muscles!
Exercise 1. Actively Overcome Your Fears
Part of the reason why our muscles diminished in the first place was because we didn’t keep challenging them. Every athlete knows that if you want to become faster and better, you need to make your workouts stronger. The mortal enemy of strength is latency. When you’re too relaxed and taking it too easy for a little too long, that thing called life is waiting in the wings to beat you down.
When was the last time you were scared?
There once was a girl I went rock climbing with. She’d never been before and when she got halfway up the cliff, she started shaking. She was so terrified we started asking her if she wanted be let down. In an awesome moment, her fingers told us to go fuck ourselves, and she started climbing up again, hungrier to get to the top. Even with all four limbs shaking like a tree in a storm, she conquered that cliff.
You got this too. Whatever it is that scares you, face those ugly demons every day. Don’t let them stare you down and get away with it. Gnaw their throats out. If you’re scared of asking for that raise, start counting how much more projects you get done than your peers and take those numbers to your boss. If you’re afraid of skydiving, don’t just debate doing it once. Go do it five times. You got this. Bugs? Go get a freaking hammer.
Don’t freak out. Intimidate your fears.
Exercise 2. Self-discipline: Control Your Desires
We all have those moments. We left home and we’re are enjoying our independence by spending money on fantabulous clothes. Learn this: Too much of a good thing makes you a glutton and an idiot. Is your desire food? What about boys? Could you also be desirous of the hottest trends and latest technology?
It’s okay if you feel great in the long run doing these, but if you know you’re going to regret it, stop. Don’t let these things become your obsession. Your downfall is that you’re too passive in controlling what you do. Make a goal and choose to follow it. The bigger the deal you make out of this choice, the more successful you will be. Place soft and hard lines in the sand that you can’t cross, and look where you’re feet are going.
Being munchy or horny or high maintenance makes you do stupid things. Stop. Breathe. Decide.
Exercise 3. Fight for what you believe in, even if you lose.
If you’ve decided on some standards in your life and you feel yourself giving way, drink some gatorade and fight it back. If you lose, get back up and start training. Whatever you do just keep fighting. You’re not a wounded animal, calmly get your armor on and go to war.
Are bullies pushing you down? Stand up and tell them how you feel. They might not back down, but the important thing is that you learn your worth and build your resistance. Don’t stop coming to school. Shake them off and do better than them. Pick up boxing, outmath them in Calculus.
Don’t let your church, bosses, or friends tell you who to be and what to believe. You are an individual for a reason.
Exercise 4. Go BIG or go pump some iron.
No badass does things halfway. Sometimes that means we don’t get up for the battle on days we haven’t prepared. But that doesn’t mean we go home and go eat freaking bonbons. That means we go home to hone our skills and get ready for the battle tomorrow.
Whatever it is that you do, do it right. Don’t be satisfied with a gold medal if you didn’t put out your best. When in doubt, go all the way. Channel a hamster. If your head fits, stick your whole body through. You be amazed at what you can accomplish.
Exercise 5. Never Bullshit
Be real and be honest. If you can’t be honest, just stay silent. Real women don’t lie to themselves just so they can pat themselves or others on the back and feel better. Follow the example of your best friends. They’ve been with you a long time because they give you a shake when you need it! If your bestie has a booger on her face, tell her. If she looks stupid commenting on all her crush’s Instagram photos, tell her. But if she asks if she looks fat in a dress, tell her another one looks better and don’t say anything else.
Exercise 6. Keep learning and evolving
Or you’ll just be a stupid bendejo.
Exercise 7. Don’t live in your past (mistakes)
One of the biggest hurdles of becoming strong is failing to forgive yourself. You just can’t forget the mistakes and embarrassing moments that you’ve had. Young grasshopper, you can’t build a house on a shoddy foundation. Address the hurt and maybe even talk to a professional. It’s a great way to prevent future emotional trauma and start being fearless.
Even on the best day everyone makes mistakes. A perfect day doesn’t have to be a flawless one, but a “complete” one. If you hit all your goals, lift your arms like a champion in the octagon and search for new greatness.
Remember, no one even recalls the time that you tripped in the rain. It’s okay to let it go and move the hell on. Every day is an evolution to a better life. So live your life, no one else will do it for you.
If all else fails, remember this: You are a badass. You will never lie down and give up the fight. Everything will be alright because you say it will.
Now rinse and repeat.