It’s hard to be a consistent friend to a person that has full-blown depression. It seems easy from the outside when they’re pretending to be happy around a crowd, but we can’t be fooled. It’s difficult for them to function and they’re so tired of everything from things like stimulation, stress, obligation, and more. They can’t just walk away from depression. It’s a lifelong battle and that alone is a hard pills to swallow (no pun intended).
It’s really hard for us as a close friend to be around someone with depression, especially when they get extremely introverted. They don’t want our help, but they don’t want to be alone. We’re afraid to speak up because we feel we might lose them. But to hell with it. When we’re more concerned with their safety than anything, it’s time to talk.
To my friend battling depression, this is what I’ve wanted to tell you all along but never had the courage to.
1. I will always be here for you. Just remember that I’m not perfect and I need space with or without you, so cut me some slack when I need some.
2. No one remembers your embarrassing moment. When someone tripped and fell on their face in front of us, we don’t remember a week down the line. No one will remember your trips and falls unless you remind them.
3. I love you but when you doubt me, it’s hard to be around you. I have good intentions so when I tell you something I’m concerned about, it’s sincerely out of love and concern.
4. Your mind is like a maze and you’ve forgotten to leave a way out. I can help. Let me take your hand a guide you. Just close your eyes. Let’s go surfing.
5. It’s okay to be alone – don’t feel guilty. Just don’t forget that it’s healthy to have human contact.
6. It can be good to distract yourself with a hobby. On the times I’m not around, learning something new is a great way to distract yourself from sadness. Let go of your worries for a couple of hours a day and when you’re done, it’s up to you whether you want to pick up those worries again.
7. No one’s perfect. Maybe you didn’t achieve your goal of becoming a professional singer or you wanted to grow up into Adriana Lima. There’s so many things you can’t control. Don’t blame yourself because you couldn’t control random things like a scout walking into the McDonald’s you work at to make you into a Dior model. Keep making new goals. You’re evolving as a person every year, so should your goals. You’ve got this.
8. I’m human too. I might have to hit class or run to the bathroom, and I might not catch your call. Let us be imperfect and I’ll give you my loyalty.
9. Injustice is a rite of life. No one has ever lived a life that was fair. Don’t dwell on it when drivers cut you off. Get back to singing along to the radio with me. They’re not out to get you, I promise. If they were, I’ll cuss them out for you.
10. It’s a good thing to treasure things, but don’t treasure things too much. If you can’t function if you didn’t get that pink fork, your heart is holding onto it too tight. It’s okay to feel blue when you can’t hold onto everything you love. It’s normal.
Now breathe. We’ve got this, girl.