Recently, I’ve been insanely happy.
I’ve been gaining weight like crazy. For dinner I had one of those delivery, “portion” meals, a doughnut, a chocolate cookie; and I’m STARVING. Not enough sugar, carbs, calories! I used to be one of those skinny girls that could get away with a food addiction because I ran around like crazy. Yeah, I used to be.
IT THAT REALLY A PROBLEM?
Since I’ve moved out of town and found a steady 9-5, my tum’s been getting chubby. This past year I’ve gained about 20 pounds, but that was only the last time I checked. I’ve just been getting bigger since. Now I’m moving on up to roll number 3.
But you know what? I don’t feel a thing. I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel fat. I sure as heck don’t feel sad. After all that the world tells us how we’re going to feel when we’ve gained weight and the hardships we’ll face, I don’t feel anything but me. Genuine me. That means I’m adventurous; I’m athletic; I’m goofy; I’m a dreamer; and I’m happy.
There are a couple of reasons why.
1. I’m grateful I’m not one of those skinny girls that get “skinny-fat” and suddenly have all these boat-load of health problems. I can eat three doughnuts and not feel like my blood sugar is about to explode.
2. I still exercise. For a while now I’ve joined the celebrity craze for Soul Cycle. I “bike” as a part of a tribe to club music. Everyone’s so pumped to be there they cheer every time we crank up the resistance. It’s a nurturing environment,
3. I love what I love. No designated measurement can take my love of fashion away. Even food is just as wonderful to me as when I was a tad thinner. I still sing jazz and occasionally perform. Everything I used to love is still there for me to love and I do!! Some stomach poundage will not take that away from me.
4. Stretchy pants. Some work pants from a brand called Uniqlo have these rubber band waists, instead of buttons and zippers. I’ve been obsessed ever since. It fits all of me at any time of the year and I still look chic. No more counting buttons.
5. There are too many things on my bucket list. Instead of focusing on one frustrating goal of losing weight, I’m out there rock climbing or meeting new people or organizing a party for my office. Life is seriously too short.
6. I surround myself with great friends that sincerely don’t care how I look.
7. I’m healthy. I make sure I get my daily V’s and a full night’s rest. I wake up happier and I work harder.
8. I don’t care about my weight. I’ll weigh as much as I want to eat/exercise. Knowing that I still feel the same way about myself, makes me more secure in who I will become regardless of weight.
And you know what? I can still love food!!